Lessons

God sure has been giving me my share of lessons this Christmas season. A great way to end the year that is for sure. A couple of really recent ones were:

Lesson 1: This Sunday at church there was a sing-a-long and testimonies. I had a terrible cold so that I was unable to sing. I love to sing. I may not be as good as many, but I do love to sing. I couldn't sing. The lesson: LISTEN!! That is really hard for me. I want to sing, I want to talk. But God wanted me to listen.

Lesson 2: I cannot control others feelings or attitudes. They may not like what I have to say. They may treat me poorly as they don't like I how I feel. I have to rise above the attitude and still show I care. The Lord loves us all. We do not have to agree on things, we do not have to have it "fair". Others may get, even though they never worked for it. They are still loved by God and my attitude may mean the difference between them accepting Christ or not. I do have an impact in my attitude.

Lesson 3: I was at a Christmas party and several of us sat down to play a game. Player A, Player B, Player C and myself sat to play. I love to play games, but I do not like to play competitively. I like to play for fun. I don't care about winning. So Player C sat down and told how she hated to play with certain other people because they are way too cometitive. Player C wanted to keep score and I said that I didn't like to keep score, I would rather just play. I was out-voted. We were going to keep score. So we atarted play. We were playing scrabble. Player B made her word. Player C made her word. I made my word and Player B counted out my points. Player C said that wasn't right. You couldn't count the previous laid letter. I thought it was for fun. Player C has to be the winner. I decided that what others see in others is something that they battle themselves. So I took a long look at myself and decided that I was going to get too competitive also and that would ruin the game for the others. So I decided that I would rather visit with people rather than play the game and have hurt feelings. So, I stopped playing and asked another girl to take my place. Player C and I both love to win. Although we approach it differently, I choose not to keep score and play for fun. While she plays competitiviely (to win) and does not see that hurt she may cause to others. While Player A and Player B just sat there and let her have her way.

Which brings me to my conclusion. God made us all different and all of us are working on different things at different times. We can only worry about ourselves and try to guide the others in God's love for all.

Sad-Packers lost again

It's a good thing that I am not a fair weather fan! We have to give Aaron Rodgers time to get it down. It's hard to be patient with your team when they keep losing! Lots of tears!! It is not our year! We can't win all the time.

Some years are like that for us personally. God sometimes allows us to have a year that seems like we can never win. We just run up against bad things time after time. We practice to get ready for it, but it just doesn't seem to help. But we always have to look ahead. God says, "this too will pass". It may take a while but somebody has to lose. I guess it's just the Packers this time!

The Games people play

Sometimes, it seems as if I work with a bunch of Middle School Children! The back biting, the teasing, the disregard for human feelings, etc. Then I stop to think about it and even middle schoolers are not as vicious as adults. Why can't we allow others to be themselves and not try to put them into a mold that we think they should act like? Sometimes I find myself following the crowd, and I start feeling resentment or ridicule for those less fortunate than I. I know that God loves all of us and I should too. But how do we react when we see another person hurting? Do we say we are sorry, or do we "pass to the other side of the road" like the Priest and Levite? I need to ask God to forgive my shortcomings and give me a true servant's heart and beome a true "Good Samaratin".

Worry about NOTHING!!!

I had posted earlier how I was worried about Rocke's bone biopsy. A true miracle happened. He had a bad blood test last time, so we thought that was why they wanted another biopsy. Well, when we got there, they took 5 vials of blood. The doctor walked in the room to give us the results of the blood tests and then do the biopsy. Guess what? He came in and said the blood tests were all perfect!! No bone bisopsy today!! He had no idea why he had even requested one. I think all of this may have happened to teach me a lesson about worry!! I fretted and worried about all the bad things, and none of them happened! All the praise goes to our Lord Jesus Christ!! I rejoice!! And I was determined that if it was bad news I would have rejoiced. But it turned out even better than any of expected it too! Our God is so Great!! Thanks to all those who prayed for us!

Cold Sore Worry

Have you ever had a cold sore? It starts with a little tingle on your lip. Within several hours the tingle will turn into a bump. The bump turns into a sore. The more you pick at it or rub it, the bigger it gets. But once it's there you have to give it time to get rid of it. There is some medication that you can take when you first feel the tingle that will keep it from breaking out. It is not an over the counter medication. It can only be given when prescribed by a doctor. I have a cold sore. It started with the tingle on Saturday afternoon. By Sunday morning when I woke up, it was bad! A lump the size of a walnut was on my lip. Okay, Okay, I know I am exaggerating. But if you have ever had a cold sore, I am sure you can relate.

Pastor Mark yesterday was preaching on Habakkuk. I think he was preaching to Rocke & I. Today Rocke has his bone biopsy to check on his leukemia. I was really worried. My friend Sue knew I was worried. She said that if I worry, I am not having faith in God. Things may not turn out all right, but God will see us through. Pastor Mark said yesterday, "Even if it's bad, I will rejoice". I am not sure if he was quoting Habakkuk or his own wisdom. I wrote it down just the same. He also said, "In the end, we will win". Even if Rocke's results are bad, we will win because we both know where he is going! He is ready. He said yesterday, that if God chooses to give him this pain, it is small compared to the pain Christ suffered for us!!

So back to the cold sore. I think my worry was like the cold sore. It starts with just a thought (the tingle)! And if you don't get the medicine from the physician, it will turn into a great big sore. The medicine for worry is God's Word and Prayer, given to us by the Great Physician. If worry does get a hold of us, like the cold sore, it will get bigger and sorer. It will affect everything we do. It is all we will concentrate on. Time is the only healer. But we still need help from God's Word to help with the healing process that damage from worry can do.

So, my cold sore is healing. But it is a reminder that Worry can affect me and make me miserable, but if I start with the medicine right away it will be better. But first I have to go to the Physician with the ailment before it happens! Next time, I will go to God with my concerns and then leave them there for him to worry about!! No more Cold sores for Me!!

Another Day

Yesterday, I turned another day older. I am now 45 years old. I can't believe how blessed that I am. I have such caring people all around me. My day started with Rocke giving me 2 wonderful cards (one mushy & one funny). I fell back to sleep, then after I awoke, I spent some time with my Lord and read my Bible. My sister Suz sent a text message. My sister Dotty called and talked and talked, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Then she calls back about 5 minutes later and said, "I just looked at the calendar and discovered it was your birthday". I also heard from:

-Cody called
-Kitty sent a text
-Amber sent a text and then later called so I could talk to Destiny, Jasmin, & Hailie
-Suz and Katrine sang Happy Birthday
-Vicki and Dixie (Rocke's sisters) sang Happy Birthday on Voice Mail
-Mom & Dad called
-Dotty called again
-My niece Mary Jo sent a text
-Rocke called a couple of times
-My friend Sue B sent an e-mail
-My friend Lori took me out for lunch and then we took her daughter to the park

I also heard from other from my friend Mickey and cousin Tracey. They had no idea it was my birthday, but it was so great to hear from them. I had a lot of laughs and will definitely have good memories of my 45th birthday.

It really doesn't matter that people remembered my birthday or not. I have such wonderful people in my life. Friends, family, church family. The whole lot! It is great to know that I am loved. I want to return the favor when I can. I am so blessed that I can hardly express in writing how I feel. It feels almost all warm & tingly. Kind of like when you have to go pee really bad, It hurts and then when it happens you feel relief. Wow. I describe things weird don't I.

Life is hard, eternal life is better!

I am not sure who sings that song. I should someday try to find out. I will have to add that to my "look up list".

Sometimes it seems as if life is too hard. You just want to give up! There is so much tragedy and heartache all around us.

Kitty and Matt were so excited to have a new life coming into their lives. The joy on their faces just radiated. This baby was so loved. Tragedy struck and Kitty lost him. He was a perfect little boy. Sometimes I get angry thinking about it! She had just been to the emergency room the night before and they sent her home. Just gave her some pain meds and sent her home. The next morning as she prepared to go to the doctor to get more help, he was born. Way too early. He was gone before anything could be done. WHY????? I know all the classic answers: Maybe something was wrong (tests show he was perfect); God wanted a baby in heaven; He is in a better place; too many more to mention.

This is what I do know. God is good. It may not seem like it sometimes, but he is crying right along side of us. He loves babies. I will not falter in my faith. Pastor Peacock once told me that "Faith has questions". I will cling to my faith even though I don't doubt God or faith, I do have questions. But life can sometimes be really hard, but I know whom I believe and that eternal life with him will be GREAT!!

Life in the citty

Wow. I thought I was done living the city life, but Rocke's job has brought him here so here we are! We recieved news about a month ago that Rocke's ABL counts were up slightly. We were surprised due to the fact that results before that showed he was in remission. I decided that I would take a leave of absence from my job so that I could be with him. I cannot imagine my life without this man. He is my "Rock". Christ is number one but Rocke keeps me grounded and stable. I would be more of basket case if it wasn't for him. The Lord tells us that he will never leave us or forsake us. Sometimes I think that I have put Rocke before my GOD. I am working on this. Perhaps that is why GOD is giving me a reality check. Though I cannot imagine my life without Rocke, I really couln't make it through this life without my Lord and redeemer. He is my "fortress and help in times of trouble". I couldn't make it without him to hold me. I pray that my children will see this truth before and if anything happens to their Dad. Prayer keeps me going. I have so many people praying for Rocke and I. I can feel those prayers, they surruond me like a great big hug. Thank you Lord for all you have done and continue to do.

My Savior, My God

Some days are hard without Rocke here. He makes my life complete. It never compares with the feelings I had the day he was diagnosed with luekemia. The day was cloudy when I got the call he was on his way to the hospital. I was rushing to the hospital to be with him, not knowing what the outcome may be. I was listening to WWIB radio out of Eau Claire on my way. As I turned the corner to turn towards the hospital, the tears flowed as I listened to the words of the song, "MY SAVIOR, MY GOD" by Aaron Shust.

I didn't understand what God had planned or what his will was. All I do know is that he chose to keep Rocke alive. He has given Rocke the strength to continue working. He gave me the strength to find my inner strength. He brought us back to him. We were not living our faith. We are now!! Our Lord and Savior is alive and continueing to guide our lives. I praise the Lord for all he has done, including Rocke's illness and allowing him to have the treatable leukemia. Thank you GOD!!

Father's Day

Today was Father's Day and I not only honor my father (Bob Weatherhead) but the Father of my children.

Rocke was born in the Ladysmith hospital on May 4, 1960 to John & Lila Baker. He grew up working on his parent's and grandparent's farm, so he always knew hard work. When he was 21 he met the love of his life (me!). We were married on December 4, 1981. (I just noticed that the 4th is significant for his dates) We had 3 children Amber (who is 25), Kitty (who is 22), Cody (who just turned 21 on the 11th of this month). Amber has 3 little girls whom I mentioned earlier in a blog (Destiny, 7; Jasmin, 6; Hailie, 3). Rocke worked as a farmer, then a A.I. technician, a herdsman, a hamburger flipper @ McDonald's, a foundry worker, a truck driver, and now a pipeline worker. He has never set idle. I have rarely seen a man work so hard and there was no job that "was beneath him". He did whatever he had to do to take care of his family. While he was driving milk truck, he became very ill. He was throwing up and running a high temp. He had been sick for almost a week, but he finally told his boss he was too sick to drive. He was still on his route over by Glen Flora picking up milk. The boss and his wife came to the farm he was at, and Jeanne (the wife) said she was taking him straight to the hospital. I was on my way to church with Amber & the girls when I got the phone call asking me which hospital to take him too. I told them to take him to Rice Lake. Now we are talking about a man who had never been sick other than a cold. I rushed to the hospital beating them there. Once he was admitted, they took all kinds of tests to see what was wrong. He was still throwing up and his temp was 103 degrees. The doctor came and said he didn't really know what was wrong but his blood counts were "out of this world". The next few days were a blur as he continued with tests and was taken by ambulance to Eau Claire. It was there that he was diagnosed with leukemia. There are different types of leukemia. The type he had was treatable but not curable. Hew is now said to be in remission thanks to the daily pill he has to take called Gleevec. Even as battled his disease, he worked if not on a job, he went every day to Mom & Dad's and helped on the beef farm. He is the hardest working, most caring, loving Christian man I know. The thought of losing him caused both of us to turn our focus to our Lord & Savior. We were both Christians before this, but we both have became so much stronger in our faith. I thank God every day for this man. Right now he is off working in Fond Du Lac, WI. Cheers to my man, I am the luckiest girl in the world!!

Beautiful Baptism video

It is so hard to beleive that it will have been 3 years ago that Amber came home with 3 little babies in tow. She was so depressed, angry and felt like she wasn't worth anything. She had been married to a man who abused her for their entire relationship. Then she came home in August of 2005. Then her Grandma died (Rocke's mom) in November. I lost my job in June, then in July Rocke was diagnosed with leukemia. Amber hated the world. She was angry with her ex-husband but more than that she was angry with God for allowing all of this to happen. Her Dad had never been sick. He was strong & tough and was now flat on his back in the hospital. The winter of 2007, she attended ALPHA (a program through church that taught about Jesus in a safe enviroment, where no question was a bad one). I started to go with her, but it was getting to be too late for the grandkids to get up for school, so I volunteered to watch the girls so she could go. She met Nate & Patti Yoder. They helped her through her anger with God. She was baptized in the summer of 2007. That was one of the best day. Rocke & I were so blessed that she has blossomed. I continue to pray for her as she continues to struggle with anger & low self esteem. I want her to know what a beautiful person she is and that I am so proud of her. Some of the choices she continues to make are not the best ones in my opinion, but she is stronger and happier than 3 years ago. This is a tribute to her! I love you Bambi girl!!

Time flies when your'e busy

It really has been a while since I have even wrote in here. Rocke had to go to Fon du Lac on the pipeline. He will be gone until November. Kitty is getting married in July. Cody got a cycle. Amber is making plans to move out.God surrounds me with such great people in my life. And some just flit in when I need them and then flit out again. Yesterday I was just walking around the corner at Wal-Mart and there was Pastor Loretta. She know exactly how I feel, her hubby is gone off working too. Then today, Pastor Heath came by today shopping and I had a nice visit with him. God love us. It reminds of how God shows us little things that can bring a smile to our faces. He is in the friend who stops to say hi while you are at work. It is the e-mail that someone sends you. It is a phone call from your sis just needing someone to talk to and she calls you. Life is Good.

Some normal days can be rough

I have been feeling really out of sorts the last few weeks. We have had a lot of drama in our family. Kitty lost her baby. It was so sad. She was so excited and so was I. So I have been feeling just out of sorts. I can't describe it, except I felt the world was out of control. My feelings were out of control. I was greiving, I see that now but when a person is going through it they don't see it that way. So the week went by with me having a bad attitude, and feeling lonely, unworthy and sinful. So the week went by and many friends stopped or call to let me know that they cared. That didn't even seem to make a difference. Then to top the whole work week off, I stopped at the Holiday station to put gas in the jeep. And as I was getting out of the car and attempting to shut the car door my sleeve hooked on the lock switch and I locked my car keys, my wallet and my phone all in the vehicle. I couldn't get mad. I couldn't even cry. I just laughed and called Rocke to come and rescue me as I sat in the Holiday and got my thoughts together. It took him over 1/2 hour to get there. It was the ending to the terrible week I had just experienced. I learned that God was there all the time and I should have reached out to him rather than try to deal with all those icky feelings all by myself.

Barneberkie

Today I went to the Barnebirkie to watch Destiny race. For those that don't know what a birkie race is, it is a cross country ski race held in Hayward every year. It was quite a feat for me to go. I hate the cold, but the warmth in my heart to see little Destiny and all the other skiers working and trying so hard kept me warm. Past0r Mark said that he thought there was a lesson there somewhere. What I came away with was this:

We are all running a race. All of us are at different stages in life. Some are little ones just learning to ski, some are in elementary school, some are middle schoolers, some are veterans cheering us on, and yet some are the leaders teaching others the way. Just like all those little skiers today, we will all win a prize at the end of the race. We will win the ultimate prize of seeing Christ face to face. We only have to learn from those ahead of us and give it all we've got.

Maybe I might just take the Barnebirkie off so that I can see the whole thing. Great day!!

Brrrrrr it's cold outside

Today it was 15 below zero. It will be even colder tomorrow, I guess. That is why we live in northern Wisconsin. A lot has happened around her since my last blog. Amber got a new vehicle. I am a little worried that she will not be able to afford it. She did need a more reliable vehicle. Rocke continues to look for work. He would like to get a job around here that requires him to have normal hours, with weekends off. That way we can go to church together on Sundays and have Saturdays for riding cycle.

Weekend in Duluth

We left Saturday morning at about 6:15 am. Destiny and Jasmin went to friends' houses. Amber dropped Hailie off at Dotty's for a day of fun. Amber was going to look for a new vehicle. She was using the car she bought from us as her trade-in. She came home with a mini-van (Dodge Caravan). She went to Cody's work and found it. It was nice to see Cody in his element. The people there really liked Cody. We would have liked to have more time shopping, seeing Cody's place and visiting. But Amber got a car so I am happy for her. We met Kari in Duluth for breakfast. It was fun to see her. She is such a great kid. I miss her. We may have to make another trip up in March.

I am so blessed by wonderful kids and great friends. My friends range from young (my kids' age) and older than me. My friend June has the personality that I wish I had sometimes. She is so out going and can talk to anyone. She is totally open and honest. I envy her sometimes. She has bought herself a motorcycle and is going to join the CMA.

Great weekend.

Life is good.

Life is Good. There is so much good in my life right now. It is times like this that really make us appreciate it when the bad ones come along. Here is a snippet of the events that have me so happy.

* Rocke got great news from the doctor. His last blood test showed no leukemia cells. He appears to be in complete remission. They will test again in April to make sure.

* I have read the book "Boundaries" by Cloud/Townsend. I have learned so much about not allowing others to steal my joy. About not letting others make me feel guilty and not taking on their problems.

* Amber found an apartment. Her and the girls will be moving out in the spring or early summer. The house will seem so quiet, but it is great to see all the progress Amber has made since when she moved away from the years of abuse.

* Kitty is going to have a baby in October. It will be my 4th grandkid. I am excited. I wish she was married first. But her boyfriend is a red head and I have always wanted a red head kid. Maybe I will get my wish from her.

* My spiritual life is growing by leaps and bounds!! The Lord is not only my confidant, but also my best friend.

* I am going to go to Duluth this weekend to see my boy. I am so excited. I miss him so much some times.

Hard not to be bitter sometimes

Sometimes life hits a blow that you thought you were ready for but weren't. I am from a blended family. My mom was married when she was very young and had 3 children from that union. He was alcoholic and abusive, so she left. She met a good man whom took all of us in. They had one child together. He had one daughter (that was only his in name only) and one son. They lived with their mom so we didn't see them much. I thought that we were one big happy family. We grew up in a christian home. We all attended church together. We were always told that we were all loved the same. Well last week, it was verbalized that the only child that matter was the "blood" child. It hurt my brother very badly and my sister (the blood one) was hurt immensely also. The older sister was hurt too. I was too, but I believe that we can't change others. What they believe is what they believe and we can't change that. We don't have to like it, we don't have to agree with; we only have to learn to accept it. The wounds are real for us and we will heal. We have to protect ourselves from the hurt. We can if we join together and lean on each other. The Lord is great!! and he doesn't care if we are "blood" or not. He loves both Jews, Greek and even me!

Why life is better

I will give the Reader's Digest version to my last 2 years that rocked my faith. In August of 2005, my oldest daughter finally after years of abuse from her husband decided to leave the situation. She came back home with 3 little babies in tow. At that time the children were 6 months, 3 and 4. Then in June of 2006 the job I held with a retail store ended. They said I quit, I said I was fired. They didn't want to say that they fired me because then they would have to pay un-employment. Another long story. Then in July my husband, Rocke was rushed to the hospital. There it was discovered that he had leukemia. It is treatable but not curable. I finally found work in the world's biggest retail chain. I started as a cart pusher and now work in the jewelry department. We still struggle with doctor bills, because as we were fighting his disease, he couldn't work so we lost our insurance. We could have kept it to the tune of over $1000 a month, which was more than what I was making. But God saw us through it. He continues to guide us. I think the best thing is that Rocke & I both have renewed our faith. Our eldest daughter was baptized this past year. Life is Good!!

Life can be so confusing sometimes

Last week my mom went into the hospital with pneumonia. After I had visited her in the hospital and done many things for her & my dad, my sisters said that the reason mom was in the hospital was me. It was my fault. They preceded to tell me that mom was doing all of these certain things for me & my family. Which was true, but they were all things that we told her not to do, but she decided to do on her own. I am not sure if mom told them these things or if she mentioned these things and then my sister blew it out of proportion. I was so frustrated. I stayed angry and hurt for many days. Things will not be the same. I had coffee with a good friend and she thinks that I should talk it out with my family. I have not had the opportunity, but I think I will. I have been reading the book, Boundaries. It has helped me strong enough to stand up for myself.

That is the latest in the "drama" I have going on in my life right now. I want to add daily the other things that keep rocking my faith. The Lord is good and I know he will give me the wisdom to talk to my family members and give me the right words to say.

A great start for 2008

2008 is going to be a great year!! The Lord is the center of my life. He makes life worthwhile. I am going to use my blog to tell of past and present experiences and hopefully it will make others feel better.