Hard not to be bitter sometimes

Sometimes life hits a blow that you thought you were ready for but weren't. I am from a blended family. My mom was married when she was very young and had 3 children from that union. He was alcoholic and abusive, so she left. She met a good man whom took all of us in. They had one child together. He had one daughter (that was only his in name only) and one son. They lived with their mom so we didn't see them much. I thought that we were one big happy family. We grew up in a christian home. We all attended church together. We were always told that we were all loved the same. Well last week, it was verbalized that the only child that matter was the "blood" child. It hurt my brother very badly and my sister (the blood one) was hurt immensely also. The older sister was hurt too. I was too, but I believe that we can't change others. What they believe is what they believe and we can't change that. We don't have to like it, we don't have to agree with; we only have to learn to accept it. The wounds are real for us and we will heal. We have to protect ourselves from the hurt. We can if we join together and lean on each other. The Lord is great!! and he doesn't care if we are "blood" or not. He loves both Jews, Greek and even me!

Why life is better

I will give the Reader's Digest version to my last 2 years that rocked my faith. In August of 2005, my oldest daughter finally after years of abuse from her husband decided to leave the situation. She came back home with 3 little babies in tow. At that time the children were 6 months, 3 and 4. Then in June of 2006 the job I held with a retail store ended. They said I quit, I said I was fired. They didn't want to say that they fired me because then they would have to pay un-employment. Another long story. Then in July my husband, Rocke was rushed to the hospital. There it was discovered that he had leukemia. It is treatable but not curable. I finally found work in the world's biggest retail chain. I started as a cart pusher and now work in the jewelry department. We still struggle with doctor bills, because as we were fighting his disease, he couldn't work so we lost our insurance. We could have kept it to the tune of over $1000 a month, which was more than what I was making. But God saw us through it. He continues to guide us. I think the best thing is that Rocke & I both have renewed our faith. Our eldest daughter was baptized this past year. Life is Good!!

Life can be so confusing sometimes

Last week my mom went into the hospital with pneumonia. After I had visited her in the hospital and done many things for her & my dad, my sisters said that the reason mom was in the hospital was me. It was my fault. They preceded to tell me that mom was doing all of these certain things for me & my family. Which was true, but they were all things that we told her not to do, but she decided to do on her own. I am not sure if mom told them these things or if she mentioned these things and then my sister blew it out of proportion. I was so frustrated. I stayed angry and hurt for many days. Things will not be the same. I had coffee with a good friend and she thinks that I should talk it out with my family. I have not had the opportunity, but I think I will. I have been reading the book, Boundaries. It has helped me strong enough to stand up for myself.

That is the latest in the "drama" I have going on in my life right now. I want to add daily the other things that keep rocking my faith. The Lord is good and I know he will give me the wisdom to talk to my family members and give me the right words to say.

A great start for 2008

2008 is going to be a great year!! The Lord is the center of my life. He makes life worthwhile. I am going to use my blog to tell of past and present experiences and hopefully it will make others feel better.